Transitions for life, People in Motion


Unfinished Business - the power of the un-done


Have you ever experienced the lightness that comes with finally taking action on something you have been avoiding? Perhaps it was a difficult conversation that you needed to have at work or a half-finished project around the house. The positive energy you experienced when taking care of unfinished business propelled you forward for days. Now consider the opposite effect. What power does the un-done have over your life? How much of your energy is being drained by the inner noise of avoidance? The release you feel when overcoming our internal barriers to action is actually a release of negative pressure that has built up around the avoided activity. The part of you that needs completion battles with the part that doesn't want to deal with something potentially unpleasant. Over time, the inner battle can become more unpleasant than the action itself. The most powerful type of unfinished business involves relationships. Perhaps you need to address some hurtful comments from a friend, confront a co-worker or employee who is not meeting expectations, or let your partner know that something is bothering you. These unsaid conversations can create a lot of noise in your head. Recognizing the impact of carrying around the un-done can create the impetus to take care of business. Observing and owning the degree of internal tension your avoidance creates can wake up your "just do it" response. Once done, you will be amazed at how relieved and light you feel, realize what an unconscious drain you had carried and wonder why you didn't just do it days, weeks or months before. So take back the power of your un-done and put it to better use in your life!		"My evil genius Procrastination has whispered me to tarry 'til a more convenient season." ~ Mary Todd Lincoln

Tips for taking care of your unfinished business:


Observe the pockets of unfinished business in your own life. Look for clues like these: - dwelling on a past conversation or incident - increased negative feelings or actions towards someone who has no clue as to why - feeling an emotional heaviness or avoidance around an unfinished project - repeatedly playing out a difficult conversation in your head - avoiding a specific person or situation Quantify the impact of the unfinished business. How much energy is being spent on this? Include the energy spent thinking about it, avoiding it, and keeping it on your mental to-do list. What is the physical cost? Note where you hold unfinished business in your body (head, stomach, back, etc.) and learn to recognize the feeling. Ask yourself what you are really avoiding and why. Avoidance is often about fear - fear of not doing something right, fear of what someone else might say/think, fear of the results. Determine what creates the gap between you and action. It may be a new communication skill, a fully defined outcome, a support person or a better plan. It may be a choice between accommodating fear and achieving success. Now move your energy from avoidance and focus it on filling the gap and committing to taking care of business. Notice the benefit and reward yourself. Over time this process will become easier and faster. Eventually you won't tolerate giving any your power away to the un-done!

Resources


For more information on the link between unfinished business and fear, read this Dakota State University article. Read Douglas Stone's book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most to learn about the essential structure for handling difficult conversations. Track the things you are tolerating on this downloadable Coaching Resources form. Explore your path to taking care of business during a free 30-minute session with your coach!		Are you ready for more? Get a coach!