Transitions for life, People in Motion


The Gilded Cage - what is your lifestyle costing you?


How much of your life is spent supporting your lifestyle? Lifestyle is defined in the dictionary as "a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes". But what happens when what we have to do to create and maintain this lifestyle goes against the very values and attitudes it should support? As a society, we are fortunate to have such a variety of lifestyle choices and the financial abundance to go beyond basic survival needs. The challenge for each of us is in managing our every-growing perception of what we need to survive. The big house, the new car, the right job, the cool vacation, and the new toy - all make life fun and worthwhile. But at what cost? At what point does the life of our choosing become a lifestyle that makes choices for us? Has your lifestyle gotten in the way of your life? What is your lifestyle costing you? Are you working in a job you don't like in order to support it? Randy was "stuck" in a job requiring constant travel in order to pay for a fine house that he never got to see. Only after his wife left did he realize that the family needed him more than the house. Sylvia would lie awake at night worrying about her mounting charge card debt, created while trying to keep up with her friends' expensive shopping habits. Daniel gave up his dream of a career in art to satisfy his family's expectation of success. We often measure our success by what we have accumulated instead of who we are. Our core values get squashed under the weight of what we feel we must have to live "right". Maintaining a lifestyle that is bigger than you can easily afford keeps you from living your life to the fullest. What if the energy you spend on supporting a lifestyle was focused on creating a life that you, and other around you, could really value? How would you be different if you downsized your lifestyle and upsized your life? What would you gain by letting go?		"Never confuse your net worth with your self worth." ~ Jeep commercial

Tips for living a life, not a lifestyle:


First, calculate the hidden costs of your lifestyle How easily can you maintain your current lifestyle? Do your finances, time and energy meet, exceed or come up short of your lifestyle requirements? Do the values activity below. Are any of your top values not present in your lifestyle today? Why not? What is getting in the way? What do you have to give up to keep up? What personal needs, dreams and values are on hold while you busily support your lifestyle? Second, visualize a life free of lifestyle constraints How much of your life do you choose to give away to meet the expectations of others? How would you choose to live if there were no external expectations? What would your life be like if there was no need to impress friends, keep up with neighbors, or meet parental ideals? What is the first thing you would gladly give up to have more freedom and less stress? How would you be different afterwards? What negative impact would result if you chose life over lifestyle? Is your perspective real or imagined? Third, align your lifestyle to your personal values What would need to be different if you put values first and lifestyle second? What lifestyle change would make the most difference with the least impact? Discuss the change, impact and benefits with others that would be involved. You might find their perspective very enlightening! Make a choice and make a change! Even small adjustments to lifestyle can make a big difference. Especially once you've experienced how the gain exceeds the pain. So get a life, not a lifestyle.

Resources


Try this Values Top 10 activity to clarify which values you choose to make a priority. Want to get a life? Try these Top 10 Tips. Learn more about the connection between lifestyle and health at WebMD. Explore creating a values-oriented life during a free 30-minute session with your coach!		Are you ready for more? Get a coach!