Transitions for life, People in Motion


Believe it! – We are who we think we are


A belief is something that you accept as fact, without conscious thought or question. Our beliefs are deeply ingrained within us and we hold tightly to them, resisting both internal and external attempts to change them. Many beliefs are created during childhood, often borrowed from a parent, or created during significant emotional events. Our beliefs create much of our adult experience and influence every decision we make. For example, a person with a belief that “money shouldn’t be spent on frivolous things” will choose to invest a bonus rather than take a vacation with it. Our beliefs are designed to protect us and they often serve us well for long periods of our life. But beliefs can get in the way when they begin to interfere with what we want. If you grew up believing that “I must be agreeable for people to like me”, being promoted into a leadership role can create a real problem. Beliefs also get in the way when two people believe differently about the same topic. I believe that my garage should be spotless and free of clutter (thanks Dad). Unfortunately my husband believes that a garage is supposed to be a storage unit, and that I should feel very lucky that my car fits in most days. Every belief has a light and dark side. By believing that “working hard is unhealthy for women” (thanks Mom), I became the poster child for life balance. But every time I wanted to work hard to achieve an exciting goal, I would get sick. My subconscious would create a barrier to protect me from myself. I became what I believed. So the solution was to rewrite the belief, keeping the good and letting go of what no longer served me. Now I believe that “success is exciting (not painful) and pursuing my passion with enthusiasm is healthy”. So what do you believe? Who are you thinking yourself into being? Are any of your beliefs getting in your way on the path to success and happiness?		"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." ~ Sally Kempton

Steps for identifying and rewriting your limiting beliefs:


Select an area in your life that you are having some challenges in. Examples: weight, relationships, money, career. Write down your current beliefs in this area. Think of as many as you can. Be very honest with yourself! List your Mother’s beliefs in this area. Do the same with your Father's on a second list. If you were heavily influenced by another adult figure in your formative years, include their beliefs as well. Highlight which of their beliefs mirror your own. Ask yourself the following questions: How do my beliefs serve me well today? How do my beliefs hold me back today? Which belief would I change if I could? What part of it would I change? What would I change it to? Accept that your beliefs are a choice. It is easier to resist changing them than to take steps towards rewriting them. Embrace your resistance and be kind to it; these beliefs served you well at some point in your life. Jot down your feelings of resistance to changing this particular belief. List three points of action that you can take to initiate replacing this belief with your desired belief. Let one action be frequent mental repetition of your new, enabling belief. Be patient! Deeply planted beliefs are often slow to change. Just doing this exercise will get you on the path of questioning this belief and noticing when it is holding you back. Ask your coach to help you in your transition to new, enabling belief system.		"I am truly free when my own chains fall away." ~ Unknown

Resources


To explore those “belief fairies” in your head, visit the Gremlin Taming Institute. Be sure to draw your own Gremlin while you’re there! Check out this online article, The Top 10 Destructive Money Beliefs (and How to Overcome Them) by Dan Klatt For more on self-limiting beliefs, read this article by Anita Foley or this article by Oma Edoja.		Are you ready for more? Get a coach!